


Melody in The Wind

by emotionalcello



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Music, Romance, Slice of Life, dance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: Wonshik is a traditional music genius, and Hakyeon loves to dance to his tunes. Both of them are best friends since childhood, as they grow older, it turned to be a little more than that. Back then they didn't know what it was until it's too late. Life happens to them, they both have different roads to walk. Hakyeon has a dream, Wonshik has a responsibility. When their roads cross paths, the two realized then what's the meaning of their longing for each other.





	1. Preschool

**Author's Note:**

> Man I sucked at making descriptions.... yall i tried believe me :"D
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> I dunno yall I have this need to post something and I realized I made this for a VIXX Secret Santa event at Asianfanfics.com ! My story is only one out of many other cool short stories made by beautiful talented writers that can be found here! VIXX ST✰RLIGHT Secret Santa 2017 This even was made by littleshrubby thanks gurl! And I made this story for TheLostViking.
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> This will be just like Turning Point Scenario sadly, something that's still rough and kinda blander than my usual amount of DRAMA, and complication of the heart. This will also be my first story that didn't hae any cover bcs, i literally have NO idea about the poster... i think when I have an Idea I will make one... but right now I'm rolling on the ground burning on fire while i'm trying to make sense of my other story for this contest (It's an EXO fic, the contest requirements).
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> BUT, it's heeeeere, and it's more that 10k words, and it's already done sooooooooo, here ya go~~ hope at least some of ya liked it :"D

TING TANG CLANG TING TING TANG

 

The high pitch sound is only one out of many screeching noises. Kids cried, yelled, and the sound of the women caretaker calling the kids before they fight and makes a ruckus. Kim Wonshik however, is fine just sitting while beating up the colorful xylophone.

 

The teachers were glad despite the ear rupturing metal tones, Wonshik didn’t make trouble, until one of the troublemakers was in front of him. Cha Hakyeon, the chattiest kid that ever exist in the world, as one of the teachers said. Cha Hakyeon will voice his opinion no matter what, it’s what ignites the fights.

 

“Your music is good” it was the first time Hakyeon gave a compliment to any kid.

 

Wonshik is whipping his hand harder now, making more noise, and Hakyeon is dancing. Moving his hips all the way everywhere, it was such a cute sight. The teachers even stopped a moment to see a very rare nice Hakyeon, and the finally smiling shy Wonshik.

 

The two little kids were practically attached since then.

 

 

~~+++~~


	2. High school pt. 1

His father is a musician, a master of all traditional Korean Instruments, a teacher at the local R university, teaching music history. His mother, a beautiful dancer famous for her graceful performances. It’s no surprise that their son, Kim Wonshik, is also a musical genius with a beautiful face. If only it wasn’t for his aloof and nonchalant personality, he would have been popular.

 

Just like right now, the girls are gawking at him when Wonshik is drowned in his own world. His fingers pressing down on the string as his right arm stroke the bow, the voice of Hageum resonates in class.

 

Beside him, was Cha Hakyeon, singing with all his heart, chanting the beautiful lyrics of ‘I Can’t Say Goodbye’ with a pansori style. The combination of the two trapped the people around them with their beautiful melody,

 

Hakyeon sang his last lyrics, and the class clapped their hands. The teacher that always sits because her old age, now stood up, proud of her best students. Hakyeon and Wonshik share a look thinking one thing in their mind ‘We totally killed this’, and Hakyeon walked back to his seat with head up high, as Wonshik followed meekly.

 

“That’s from group 10, group 11 come forward” The old KyungOk called, and revert to her bitter face.

 

Wonshik sits away from Hakyeon, in the corner. Hakyeon sat in the middle where he just high fived the people beside him, his usual squad, Taekwoon, Wonshik, Hyuk, and Hongbin because he knew he just slayed. Everyone agreed, except one particular sassy friend.

 

“You’re just lucky you paired up with Wonshik, no one dare to ask him but you.” Hongbin narrowed his eyes, at the proudful Hakyeon.

 

“Wonshik is sweet, he’s not cold or cocky because of his parents like any of the rumors, he’s just shy” Hakyeon cocked his head to peek at Wonshik, and found him already looking at Hakyeon.

 

Hakyeon felt his chest tighten, suddenly meeting the pair of those dreamy droopy eyes. Wonshik just smiled and nods. ‘Isn’t that cute?’ Hakyeon thought, and just slightly sighed.

 

He mouthed to Wonshik ‘Ice cream?’, the boy lit up and nod, when he thought that Wonshik can’t get any cuter, he just did.

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

Everyday whenever they have no activities after school, Hakyeon and Wonshik hangs out by the old abandoned church made of concrete where they have to go through a quite rocky path.

 

It’s not something unusual in their small neighborhood in a small and still traditional city. Only a few malls are open, and the roads are narrow, and not even one fly overs or toll roads. A city at the foot of the mountains, where everything is still green.

 

Both of them sat by the staircase after dusting off some of the fallen leaves. The place is relatively clean since the both of them often come there and clean it once in a while.

 

Wonshik could relax and be himself, Hakyeon can get away from his ‘annoying’ friends, taking a break from his always sassy personality.

 

An old small church, tangled with vines and moss, abandoned because all the people in that town is Buddist for now. From school, they go straight to this place with fruit ice cream bars on their hands. Looking at the cloudy sky, peeking through the leaves from the towering trees. Fall is about to come, and it’s getting cold.

 

“I bet we’re getting an A-plus, we slay back there” Hakyeon darts his eyes over Wonshik.

 

“Maybe… maybe not, it’s the ice-hearted Mrs. KyungOk, we won’t know.” Wonshik shrugged, always being down to earth, sometimes too low.

 

Hakyeon rolled his eyes, “Oh, please! She loved our performance, my voice and your music, it’s a perfect match!” Hakyeon just realized what he said, and decides to stop his running mouth.

 

Wonshik at the other hand, felt somehow happy, a perfect match with Hakyeon, how he wished Hakyeon felt the same way about those words as him.

 

The both finished their ice cream bars, and Hakyeon about to do his routine, “Hey! Play your Hageum! I need to stretch”

 

It was a routine that Wonshik play any instruments he brought for Hakyeon to dance too. Accompanied by the rustling branches and fallen leaves, making the scene looked even more ethereal, and the two falling deeper for each other.

 

Wonshik closed his eyes for a moment, stroking his first tune, and the voice sent shivers down Hakyeon’s neck. Entranced with the melody, Hakyeon closed his eyes on Wonshik, letting the melody sink into his soul.

 

He started to move, slowly, as his hands waved following the flow of the wind. His feet tiptoed, stepping elegantly following the strum of Wonshik’s melody.

 

Wonshik opened his eyes, seeing the boy in front of him still in his school uniform, moving gracefully and become one with his tune. This unity of music and dance, of him and Hakyeon, sent an utter bliss to his heart, feeling like they somehow become one.

 

Hoping that this moment would last forever, Wonshik kept playing, his fingers are a bit sore, but he didn’t stop. Hakyeon, with his eyes open, hoped that Wonshik won’t stop, _just a little more_ , he thought, just a little more time in this little paradise, so that he won’t go home.

 

Immersed in the melody of ‘Onara’, the two feels pain at their fate, the space so close between them yet feels far and impossible.

 

Hakyeon wondered, when did he fell this hard for his best friend? He never feels lonely, despite the passing of his mother, and his father has gone cold, he never felt alone. Wonshik is always by his side.

 

Wonshik always knew that he loved Hakyeon, with all his soul and body, he loved him dearly. Yet when they meet each other’s eyes, there’s a pinch of pain. Hakyeon is his only friend, he wouldn’t want to ruin it, that, and the impossibility. Not now, not in this society, not in this time.

 

This is all they had. This friendship, this moment, and they’ll savor it for as long as they can.

 

A sound of a rumbling rock and a thud disturbed Wonshik’s daze, then followed by an “Ouch” and a thud, Hakyeon fall flat to the ground. Hakyeon just notices that he fell when Wonshik stopped his playing.

 

“Hakyeon! Are you okay? Oh my god please be okay!” Wonshik rushed to the fallen boy, leaving his instruments behind.

 

“Calm your ass Wonshik, I’m fine~” Hakyeon chuckled, and Wonshik unconsciously grabbed his butt, feeling embarrassed.

 

Hakyeon wasn’t hurt, he’s completely fine but…

 

“Wonshik lend me a shoulder, I think my feet hurt”, Wonshik paled, and immediately sling Hakyeon’s arms around his shoulder, helping him to sit down by the church. Hakyeon mentally giggled and faked limp his way.

 

It was just a brief contact, but it successfully made Hakyeon blushed, hopefully, Wonshik won’t know.

 

“You should’ve told me if you were tired! You should’ve told me to stop!” Wonshik nags as he sets Hakyeon down to sit.

 

“I don’t want you to stop, that’s why I didn’t tell you” Hakyeon lets his mouth runs before thinking again. Wonshik sits beside him, letting the words process in his head.

 

The wind blows, blowing cool air, a sign of fall is coming. Feeling comfortable at the presence of each other even without any words being said. They’re blushing like a couple of fools, drowned on their voiceless feelings.

 

“Wonshik, we’re about to graduate…” Hakyeon mentioned to break the silence, and Wonshik wished he didn’t pick that topic.

 

“Yeah…” Wonshik replied, hoping to not continue.

 

Hakyeon noticed Wonshik’s gloomy face, and decides to drop it.

 

“By the way, will you be participating in the fall festival?” Hakyeon tried to change the subject, and found his friend noticeably seemed to relax.

 

“I will, I don’t think the teachers will let me NOT to” Wonshik chuckled his deep voice rumbled, and Hakyeon mirrored his smile.

 

Wonshik sure does love music, just like how much Hakyeon loves dancing way more than singing. Hakyeon always performed singing, but whenever he wanted to dance, the girls always took the role.

 

“How about you? Will you perform this time?”

 

Hakyeon sighed, “I don’t know, I’ll try to ask Mrs. KyungOk, but I don’t think she gave me the part, she never did anyway.”

 

“If she didn’t then I won’t perform.” Wonshik put it matter-of-factly, sending Hakyeon’s heart into a sudden halt.

 

“Huh? Why not?”

 

“This is our last year, I want to perform with you, I want to show them we….”

 

_are a perfect match_

 

“…make a good team” Wonshik held himself from saying that, wouldn’t that be too embarrassing?

 

Hakyeon started to let his words sink in. This will be their last year, where Wonshik will go, where he will go, can it be the same place? He wished so… but that goes as far as that, a wish.

 

“Yeah! We make a good team! I’ll handle that woman! I will totally make her give me that role, no matter what it takes!” Hakyeon smirked and crack his knuckles.

 

Wonshik dropped his face seeing how scary Hakyeon could be. He’s not a fan of the cold and bitter KyungOk, but the lady is an old woman.

 

“H-Hakyeon, I might know how to change her mind”

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

Hakyeon closed the door carefully, hoping it won’t wake him up. Taking off his shoes and walking to his room without a sound, Hakyeon has developed this sneaking skill since he’s a kid. His steps are light, if he didn’t reach his room before HE wakes up, then…

 

*cling clang cling* _Shit_ Hakyeon cursed silently, and then he hears a few groans. Hakyeon stops dead in his tracks. _Please please please lady luck up in the sky I don’t want to deal with-_

 

“HAKYEON! IS THAT YOU AGAIN?” the owner of that name turned around, and there he is, the shadow of the man he hated. He throws something, and a voice of _prang_ hits just beside him, it was an alcohol bottle.

 

Hakyeon runs, putting every energy he had to run to his room.

 

“COME BACK HERE YOU BRAT, YOU DON’T LIVE HERE, YOU’RE NOT MY SON” The shadow come chasing him, and when it comes to light, it shows how his face is deranged and red. Hakyeon shudders in fear… he looked like an animal.

 

Hakyeon reached the end of the corridor where his room is, he made a great distance from him. Maybe it’s not him, Hakyeon thought, maybe it’s an animal, there’s no way that he would become this bad. Maybe this is really a stranger this time? Maybe it’s really an animal and Hakyeon is only making up the talking?

 

That thing is growing closer, and Hakyeon could see it clearer. No… that’s really his dad.

 

Hakyeon slams his door, right on his face, and make the man tumble back, enough time for Hakyeon to lock all the 4 locks on his door.

 

*BANG…. BANG BANG BANG BANG* The door rumbles as it struggles to stay closed, “OPEN THIS DOOR, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, GET OOOUUUUTTT” His dad roared like an animal, but the door stayed closed, that’s the only thing that matters.

 

Hakyeon sighed in relieve, it will take a few minutes till his dad passed out from the alcohol.

 

“Always getting drunk, always blaming me for mom’s affair, so tiring.” Hakyeon stretched his leg, he used a lot of energy from his beautiful legs, they’re going to need extra rest. Meaning earlier bedtime, meaning that he gotta do his homework asap.

 

He took a shower, and put on an earplug so that he can do his homework undisturbed by his father’s yelling.

 

2 hours passed, and Hakyeon felt his ear kinda numb, wearing earplugs in a long time feels stuffy sometimes, maybe his dad already passed out. He took it off, and yes, the banging has stopped, but on the other side of the door, he’s still murmuring.

 

“Damn brat, you’re not my son, you’re not the son of my wife and me, you’re that bastard son… that bitch can’t close her legs at all… Give me back my wife… give me back…”

 

Hakyeon wished he didn’t take off his ear plug. He has dealt with his dad’s behavior, for years now. He has heard it all, yet no matter how many times he heard it, it still hurts. So what if he's right? Yeah, he knew from the day he was a child, that he's a child from his mom's affair, and she died giving birth to him, but how was that any of Hakyeon's fault? His dad never seen him as his son, but so does Hakyeon saw him as his real dad. Yet Hakyeon stayed, for school, and for Wonshik.

 

He wiped his tears and plugged his ears back, trying to forget that his dad is outside the door, blaming him for his mom’s death.

 

Hakyeon woke up with terrible eye bags, he should’ve put a cream last night. He gets ready for school and slowly opened his door. A large body dropped almost dropped at his feet when he opened the door, still snoring comfortably even though it reeks of alcohol.

 

“Dad, wake up, you’re in front of my room again” he gently shook his dad’s shoulder, and feel the man on the floor slightly move.

 

His dad got up and walk away, not even meeting Hakyeon’s eyes, without a word of apology. His hunched back disappeared quietly from Hakyeon’s sight. That person is the same person that attacked him, the only difference is, he didn’t voice out the curses.

 

 

~~+++~~


	3. High school pt.2

Wonshik didn’t have to use his idea, turns out that no one wanted to perform the traditional dance for this kpop cover. So, the only one that requested to perform a traditional dance was Hakyeon.year, because most of them wanted to do a

 

“So yeah, turns out things turns out as we wanted.” Hakyeon sips his banana milk while briefing what he just talked about with KyungOk-Nim.

 

They’re eating lunch on the class, and only a few their classmates were in their class while the rest is in the cafeteria. Hakyeon usually go there with a few of his friends, but today he needs to talk to Wonshik about the festival.

 

Wonshik felt relieved, he didn’t need to do his plan, it was going to be pretty embarrassing.

 

“What were you planning to do anyway?” Hakyeon asked.

 

Wonshik shook in his seat, should he tell him? It’s embarrassing… he raises his eyes to meet Hakyeon’s piercing demanding eyes. He knew he can’t hide anything from Hakyeon.

 

“I… was about to cancel my participation… if that didn’t work I will beg on my knees.” Wonshik opened up his lunch box, placing it there on his desk, along with Hakyeon’s.

 

Hakyeon paused a moment to process the words, Wonshik did say he won’t perform if Hakyeon didn’t but he thought he was only joking, “Cancel your participation? Were you serious about that? Why would you go that far? Thought you liked to perform.” Hakyeon raised his eyebrows.

 

Wonshik opened his mouth, but then he remembered why he didn’t want to tell, and closed them again. Hakyeon let it go the first time, but now it’s starting to bother him. What did Wonshik could possibly hide from him for this long? Hakyeon knew everything, he has to!

 

“Wonshik, I did let you go once, but now you’re telling me what you’re hiding!” Hakyeon pointed his banana milk at Wonshik.

 

“I-It’s not that I’m hiding something, I just don’t what to have that conversation ye-”

 

“What conversation? Why do you need to hide it from me??” Hakyeon put his hand down on the table, maybe a bit too hard, it creates a slight bang that made Wonshik tensed.

 

Wonshik sighed, trying to calm himself down, “It’s about University Hakyeon… I think I’m going here, to R University”

 

Hakyeon blinked, now feeling guilty about getting too worked up, “Oh, I know about that Wonshikkie~” and he giggled stiffly.

 

“So, you’re okay with going to different university?”

 

“It’s not that… it’s because I haven’t decided yet” Hakyeon cower in his seat, Wonshik is right, he didn’t know if he’s ready to talk about this.

 

Hakyeon already knew that Wonshik’s love for traditional music and his pride to take the path of his parents will be number one to him, not Hakyeon. They’re only best friends, not lovers, no matter how far they go back, in pursuing dreams, separation is inevitable sometimes.

 

“I know you won’t stay in this city Hakyeon, from your eyebags I can tell your dad is getting to you again”

 

Hakyeon instinctively held onto his eye bags, damn, he needs to buy a better concealer. Wonshik knew about his family, it’s only right for them to know everything about each other.

 

“That means you’re not going out of this town with me, are you?” Hakyeon cross-checked, and Wonshik nods.

 

One day, a couple of weeks ago, Hakyeon did mention leaving this small city and go to the city where there are more opportunities open for him, and to get away from his father. Even back then, from seeing Wonshik’s face when he said it, Hakyeon already knew that Wonshik won't go after him.

 

If it’s traditional music, this town has the best university for it. Hakyeon would love to stay with Wonshik, but the thought of staying with his father any longer is making him crazy. Wonshik loves Hakyeon, but he loves his music too, it’s his dream, and he has no chance whatsoever with Hakyeon anyway.

 

“But let’s not get gloomy now! We still have time until graduation, and we’ll stay in contact together won't we?” Hakyeon tried to lighten up the mood and slap Wonshik by the shoulder.

 

The smile on Hakyeon’s pretty face is able to lift Wonshik from any deep and dark hole corners of his thought. Suddenly, things feel a bit more possible for the two.

 

Yeah… separating is not the end of the world. They are best friends for their entire life, a little distance won’t hurt, they’ll surely miss each other, so they’ll continue to keep contact.

 

It’ll be fine, nothing can break their strong bond.

 

 

+++++++

 

 

The fall festival of K High is always the talk of the town. K high is the only one of the 5 high school in town that have such festival, and it’s open for public. Wonshik played his favorite instruments today, Gayageum, a 12 strings musical instrument where you pluck and flick them to make a melody.

 

At first, Wonshik and Hakyeon didn’t know what to perform, what song? what dance? They are free to choose for this festival, but they still need to be a traditional representation, that’s what they sign up for.

 

Now, they are backstage waiting for their turn, right behind a dark sheet that separates them from the crowd. They have practiced for months, and almost every single day, yet they’re still nervous, more like Wonshik is. Hakyeon only takes a little more air into his lungs, and sigh out the nervousness.

 

Hakyeon took Wonshik’s hand and smiled. Wonshik cocked his head to the side, and see Hakyeon is wearing matching blue Hanbok as him. Their hands connected tight, reassuring each other’s feelings.

 

This is not a mere performance, nor the last stage, this is a way to prove to the world, in a very silent and subtle way, that they are inseparable, almost like they are meant to be.

 

“Coming up next! K high’s Best Students! Performing their adaptation of the song Onara! Give it up for… Kim Wonshik and Cha Hakyeon!”

 

Their hands disconnected almost instantly when the curtains parted. Without wiping off their proud smile, and have their eyes to the loud cheer of the crowd.

 

Wonshik started his melody, and Hakyeon followed the similar melody. To the world, they show them their own world, the performance of their own when they’re alone at the old church.

 

Hakyeon thought, _I’m the only one that can dance to his melody._

 

Wonshik thought, _his dance is only for the melody I make._

 

_World, see us! Though we can’t always stay together, this is the beauty that you can see only when he’s with me. He is mine._

 

They both thought so selfishly. All of it was selfish thoughts to feed their hungry hearts to own something they can’t have.

 

The crowd cheered, booming louder than the Mc that spoke over the mic. That is all that Hakyeon and Wonshik wanted, making the crowd happy and awed with their art, their personal art.

 

When they get down from the stage, their friends are gathering around them and giving praises, even students outside from K high came closer to the crowd. Wonshik’s parents came and gave their son a proud look, and also praising Hakyeon’s beautiful dance. Hakyeon’s dad didn’t come even after he asked him to, but it’s not surprising.

 

Wonshik’s mom has the widest smile on her face, stretching her red lipstick from ear to ear. She hugged her son dearly saying repeatedly over how proud she is. His dad didn’t say anything, only smiling and patting Wonshik’s back, kissing her son at the top of his head and chuckled.

 

It’s nasty how much Hakyeon’s eyes burn at the sight out of envy. Cold sweat dripping from his neck at how unbearably upset he is, even his chest started to burn.

 

This sappy scene made Hakyeon understand Wonshik’s choice of pursuing traditional music. His parents looked so proud of him, they praise him when he did a good job, who wouldn’t want to try their best and make them happy?

 

Wonshik’s talk with their parents doesn’t seem to end, and Hakyeon feels tired of hearing it.

 

“Wonshik, I’m going to buy some snacks, catch you later!” Hakyeon waved and disappears before Wonshik even could say ‘wait’.

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

It was only an excuse, Hakyeon didn’t have any appetite at all. Maybe it’s the ugly jealousy of Wonshik, or the fact that this is their final performance finally dawned on Hakyeon. He thought once it’s done, he would have closure, but now he felt his heart ache at the sight he just saw. Why? He wondered.

 

The hear in his eyes escaped with the tears that rolled down his face. _It’s not because of envy, I was sad, because I didn’t have a family like Wonshik’s_ , Hakyeon realized. He laughed at how pathetic he’s being, he can’t believe he just thinks like that.

 

The path to the old church is tricky at night, but Hakyeon could get there easily because he knows the road better than his own house. He sits there on the concrete staircase, looking up to the starry sky where the moon is beaming, making the night a little less dark.

 

 

This place, this memorable place… He won’t be returning for a while. Suddenly he feels lonely. He’ll be alone out there, though he’ll be away from that monster, he’ll also be away from Wonshik. He knew nothing good can come from them being together, if it’s even possible at all.

 

This is stupid, Hakyeon thought.

 

He shouldn’t feel like this, he should rejoice! He just got accepted to Seoul University in dance major. He’ll be living with his aunt from his mother side that loves him to bits, and his father doesn’t seem to care at all about him moving away, it’s perfect… except—

 

“I know you’ll be here” A boy with matching blue hanbok appeared. Hakyeon only smiled and scooted to the side to let Wonshik sits beside him.

 

They sit there without any words said, with their shoulder touching, and their breaths sing along with the clashing branches by the air. How to start a conversation? Why is it so hard now? What to say?

 

“Wonshik, thank you…” Hakyeon opened up, Wonshik raised his eyebrows at it, “Living here was honestly hell for me. My dad is a demon, I never knew my mom, the town so small it’s suffocating, but I have you here.” Hakyeon looks to his side, at the soft eyed Wonshik he comes to adore.

 

“Despite everything that happened, from way back then when we’re kindergartens, that annoying xylophone you played annoyed me so much that it broke my sad thoughts about not having a mom. Can you believe I was actually pitying you? I thought… I may lose a mom, but this guy so pathetic he can’t play shit.”

 

Wonshik let out a loud ‘PPPFFT’ and they both burst into a hefty laugh. Wonshik was waiting for a heartfelt moment, but then he had to admit, the way he abused that xylophone still made him feel guilty till today.

 

Finally, their laughter died down, “Anytime Hakyeon.” Wonshik left out the rest of his laugh in chuckles and nudge Hakyeon’s shoulder with his.

 

Hakyeon takes another breath, he feels a little lighter now, “Wonshik, I’ll be going to Seoul for University”

 

There’s tension on that breezy air, but Wonshik didn’t let the heavy silence continue for too long.

 

“That’s great! That’s the best University in South Korea! That’s cool!” Wonshik didn’t lie, it’s really remarkable of Hakyeon.

 

“Is it for the major you liked?”

 

“Yes, send them a few dancing videos I made and got half of the scholarship money”

 

“Scholarship, at Seoul University, that’s awesome!” Wonshik has never felt this happy, knowing his best friend is on a good track. He wraps Hakyeon’s shoulder with his arms and hugs tight, where Hakyeon hugs him back.

 

“I know right! I’ll be living with aunt Sohee too! It’ll be great!”

 

“That’s awesome!”

 

They still hugged each other and go back and forth, cheering happily. Until finally the laughs died down.

 

None of them let go, staying silently in each other’s arms, sinking into the comfortable innocent touch. The gentle thumping feeling on their chest resonates through the fabric, a soft echo that made each other feel safe, it’ll be gone.

 

“I-I’ll miss you” Wonshik’s voice started to break, and he felt his face red with embarrassment. He’s caught crying now, how embarrassing, and Wonshik hugs Hakyeon even tighter to his face.

 

How cute, Hakyeon thought as he lets his tears flow silently. He cleared his throat, “I’ll miss you too Wonshik”

 

Finally, on each other’s arms, though it’s only as best friends, the feeling of this wholeness is certainly satisfying. None of them dared to let go first, until the night got colder, they only held each other tighter.

 

Their minds travel back to the good times they spent in this place. It won’t happen again for a while, but Hakyeon will visit, and Wonshik will always welcome him.

 

Until the night becomes really dark and the cold is struck to the bone, they finally let go with a light chuckle.

 

Maybe it was because of the cold and the streets are quiet, they went back to their homes holding hands.

 

 

~~+++~~


	4. College

Their separation was nothing grand. Wonshik sees him off instead of his own father. His aunt Sohee is hyper and lovable, strangling Hakyeon with her love like he’s her own son. Aunt Sohee already has a family consist of a husband and 2 children which are 5 years old twins, and yet she’s welcoming him so warmly.

 

Hakyeon feared that he’ll be a burden to the already busy 45-year-old, but his aunt is hushing him harshly, “You’re my son now that you’re under my roof” Hakyeon broke down to tears when he heard that.

 

He knew aunt Sohee is already busy with her own family, and hates her brother in law, that’s why she rarely visits. So Hakyeon was the one that always visits her sometimes. Now they’re going to be living together for a while. Hakyeon can’t help but feel excited to go home to a warm family and finally sleeping soundly.

 

He also accustomed to life in Seoul almost immediately. Hakyeon is always easy going and friendly, so getting along and going on an adventure is in his blood. His friends from back home, Hongbin, Hyuk, Taekwoon, and Jaehwan, is in Seoul too though they’re in different university, they hang out a lot.

 

Life in Seoul is busy, and full of life. Hakyeon is enjoying every single second of it.

 

The first and second year of university, Hakyeon would come back and see how Wonshik grew in mere months. He would try to make his visit brief, and rent a room at a hotel, so he won't need to go back to his father. Whenever Hakyeon visits, he would go to that church with Wonshik and catch up.

 

They would admire each other, seeing how much they have grown, and the beats of their hearts would thump louder the more they meet. They also chat over kakao often, though it didn’t give the same satisfying feeling as actually meeting, so their chats grow less.

 

The third and fourth year, the end of the university is the busiest, gradually they didn’t chat over kakao at all. Hakyeon only came back once in his third year, then never again. The last thesis takes their time, after graduating, life gets to them.

 

Hakyeon is getting offers to perform in some theaters, and a side job of teaching in children’s class. Wonshik went on a world tour, introducing South Korea’s traditional music to the world. Wonshik then takes a master degree in composing, while Hakyeon takes intensive singing classes.

 

They focus on their dreams and pursue them, making their past blurs as time goes on. Though at night, when the day is quiet, the thought of each other often pops out on their head. At the time, it feels like forever since they meet, and the thought of contacting each other feels useless and hopeless.

 

Thus, slowly, they never contacted each other for days, months, and then it stretched into years.

 

 

~~+++~~


	5. 10 Years Later

~10 years later~

 

 

Hakyeon is back to his hometown, now 28 years old. He never thought of his hometown anymore. He got a life in Seoul, friends, a job, a family, but what does this town have for him?

 

Kim Wonshik.

 

Yes, this town has his beloved Kim Wonshik. When Hakyeon recalled the name, it sends his heart into berserk. How long was it since he last saw that shy boy? His best friend that was lost in time, he wondered if Wonshik still remembers him, because he sure does.

 

The lonely nights always made him dreamt of Wonshik. The thought of meeting Wonshik tweaked a spark of fear in his chest. What has become of Wonshik after all these years? Is he still his shy and cute best friend? He somehow would rather not know than be disappointed, but can he be disappointed at all?

 

That’s not important right now, the reason he’s back in town was his father.

 

He’s not dying, unfortunately, but he’s trying to make amends. His father has been pestering him about coming back for a month, saying that he’s sorry and ask him to come to see his new wife.

 

At this point Hakyeon didn’t care what his old man does, did, and done, he just wants out of it. He knew if he said that his father would argue like no tomorrow, knowing how hard headed he is. So, his job here is to pretend to be happy and pretend to forgive him, the more he went along, then the quicker he could get back to Seoul, out of his dad’s pestering.

 

That’s not entirely it though, he did hope, just a little, that he would meet his beloved best friend again… since it’s been too long. How did he let themselves grow apart like this?

 

 

“Hakyeon, I wanted you to meet Hyerim” Hakyeon stood up from his seat and bowed to the elegant woman that was way out of his father’s league. The woman looked like she’s the same age as his father, though she had that class and attitude of a classy and high maintenance woman.

 

His father looked like he cleaned up a bit. He’s rather tidy and missing the usual blood-shot eyes. Good, he doesn’t look like he wiped the floor with his face anymore. His father has his life together now, so what? It doesn’t undo the hell he put Hakyeon through in the past.

 

They share laughs, stories, until noon became evening, the woman said goodbye. Hakyeon thought he could take a break from fake smiling the entire day, but seems like his father is still not done with him.

 

“Hakyeon, please sit down, I made you tea” His father pleads. Hakyeon mentally rolled his eyes back to his skull, but he covers that with his signature sweet smile.

 

“What is it dad?” The word ‘dad’ made him wanted to puke. Hakyeon called his aunt’s husband dad too, which deserve the name better than the man in front of him.

 

His father cast his eyes down, filled with regret, Hakyeon already know what he’s about to say, “I’m so sorry, for what I have done to you, your childhood is only filled with me being a monster to you. You’re my son, of course you’re my son. Even after you’re away, you still give me a monthly allowance, will you forgive me? Will you give this old man peace?”

 

What? Is he dying or something? Did he want peace after not giving peace to Hakyeon’s entire childhood? Please. Hakyeon giving him monthly allowance is so that Hakyeon won’t owe him anymore.

 

“Yes dad, I’ve forgiven you for everything already.” Hakyeon’s mouth tastes bitter.

 

His dad lights up and smiled, “That’s good, thank you son”

 

Finally, it’s done, Hakyeon just wanted to go upstairs and sleep already and—

 

“Then what about staying here with me and Hyerim?”

 

You have got to be kidding me, Hakyeon mentally cursed, “Sorry dad, my work is in Seoul, I’m really busy, and right now I already used up all my paid leave” Hakyeon was lying, what paid leave? His job is performing on theater and compose songs for the theater.

 

“How about I move to Seoul?” Hakyeon mentally screamed, SHIT.

 

“Hyerim can get transferred to Seoul, and I could work on it too”

 

“Dad I’m 28, don’t you think living together is a bit… and you’re going to get married too…”

 

His dad blinked and chuckled lightly, “Ohoho I guess you’re right, well, I’m going to sleep, it’s a long day isn’t it?”

 

Thank fuck that’s over, Hakyeon hurried up to his room, wondering how it is after all these years.

 

It’s still the same.

 

The locks were still intact on the doors, a little bit discolored. It’s as tidy as ever, just like how he left it years ago. There are a few books on his table, and he randomly took one that looked like his school notes.

 

A picture slipped away. A picture of him and Wonshik, at the fall festival with matching blue hanbok.

 

The picture made him remembered a thousand memories. The old church, his time together with Wonshik, the performance of the declaration that… nothing will separate Wonshik from him.

 

Look at him now, back in this town after years not hearing from him. He didn’t even know if he’s still in town.

 

A new fear sunk into him, that one day he would meet Wonshik, and it will be like meeting a stranger. He would rather not meet Wonshik at all, and let the beautiful memories stayed undisturbed by the present.

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

Hakyeon is staying for another day in his hometown, since his father won’t bother him again, it relaxed him to walk in these nostalgic paths. He visits his old school, K high. The guard there still remembers him, and the old KyungOk is still alive and well too. Hakyeon talked with a few teachers until they need to return and teach.

 

Hakyeon went through the paths of his school to his home. A lot has changed. The roads are better, sturdier. The convenience store where Hakyeon and Wonshik used to buy ice cream at is now a restaurant. There are more people now, more cars and motorcycle.

 

He met some of his high school friends, and stayed to chat for a few minutes before continuing to his nostalgia journey. Hakyeon didn’t ask about Wonshik at all, afraid of what he might learn.

 

Hakyeon ponders over whether he should go to the old church. He still remembers the way, the roads, the trees, like an imprint on his brain. Without him knowing, his legs already bringing him there. The rocky path is the only thing that didn’t change. Every step Hakyeon takes it feels like a cut shorter to his breath.

 

The light at the end of the woody roads shines and it momentarily blinded him. Until he finally steps into the clearing, and the world focused, it’s the same old church, the same old concrete stairway.

 

He sat there, feeling like he’s about to cry, like he’s finally returning home. Yes, this is his true home. Hakyeon closed his eyes,

 

“I’ll miss you too Wonshik”

 

He did, he missed him so much. The time when the last time they contact each other has stretched too far to mend their longing. Hakyeon felt a piece of his heart tears away when he realized that.

 

Still closing his eyes, he hears the nostalgic sound of the branches clashing because of the wind. He concentrates, the wind still smelt the same, and then, along with this wind and sound, there is the sound of Hageum being played. Wonshik’s melody of Onara sounded as clear as day, almost like Hakyeon had traveled to the past.

 

The heat from Wonshik’s body, he’s sitting beside him, he imagined the low murmurs of him talking, he couldn’t make up what he said, it was such a long memory. He had Hageum on his lap, clutching it tightly as they smiled. That night at the festival where they hugged, Hakyeon could remember how he smelled, mixed with the wind of fall. All Hakyeon’s life, nothing beats the feelings he felt whenever he’s with Wonshik.

 

Those days were the best days, all he could do to that memories, is to let go.

 

Hakyeon sighed and opened his eyes slowly, letting his breath become one with the wind.

 

In front of him stood a ghost, “Hakyeon?”, no… not a ghost.

 

His eyes focused, “W-Wonshik?” Hakyeon’s fear becomes true.

 

He stood up, and see his best friend, Kim Wonshik, that he hadn’t see for years, now grown taller than him. Wearing a simple brown jacket that made his built even wider, and a 5 o’clock shadow that made him look mature. He could see Wonshik’s usual round face now changed with more defined jaws. His eyes stayed droopy but now only slightly and has a few charismatic wrinkles on it.

 

Hakyeon trembled in his stance, finally seeing the one he loved, for all these years.

 

Wonshik faced mellowed into a shy smile, and it strummed Hakyeon’s strings, it was that cute familiar smile, his Wonshik is still the same. Wonshik smiled so wide that it looks like he’s going to rip his lips apart.

 

There it is! There’s his Wonshik!

 

Wonshik opened his arms and Hakyeon runs into them. With a slight thud from the contact, they immediately locked on each other, drowned into a tight and content hug. Nuzzled into each other’s familiar scent, they stayed quiet to hear their rapid heartbeats.

 

Wonshik couldn’t believe it, it’s Hakyeon, he’s returned! And he doesn’t look like he changed at all. They wouldn’t dare to let go, just holding onto each other’s body, feeling the rapid pulse from their chest.

 

Hakyeon also couldn’t believe it, that Wonshik is here, his heart is about to burst, he can’t wait to catch up. How’s he doing? How’s life? How’s your music? Can we have that performance once more? Here… let’s get back to how it used to…

 

“Wonshik! How is…”

 

A sight of a girl in front of him made Hakyeon immediately pushed Wonshik away. Wonshik on the other hand felt cold, and disoriented at the sudden loss of warmth, until he looked behind him.

 

The girl smiled widely, and run over to Wonshik. Hakyeon thought he was dreaming, but no.

 

“Wonshik, I knew you’d be here, mom was looking for you” She knew he would be here? She KNEW about this place?

 

Hakyeon felt betrayal shot up his chest, he thought this place is special for him and Wonshik ONLY. Hakyeon was about to glare at Wonshik, but only to see the man he loves looking terribly fond of the girl.

 

“Okay, tell her I’ll be there soon, I’m here with my friend now”

 

The girl smiled at Hakyeon and bowed. Wonshik didn’t look too good.

 

“Hello, you might not remember me, but we went to the same school, my name is SeJeong…” She extended her hands which Hakyeon took immediately and understood the meaning when he looked at her hands. A diamond studded ring sits cozily on her finger.

 

“…I’m Wonshik’s wife” The girl cheered with glee on her face.

 

Hakyeon could feel his lips twitched, but he hoped his charming smile is showing instead. His heart sinking into the abyss, feeling a deep pain in his chest. He knew this day would come, but he didn’t know it would be so soon.

 

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone, come by when you have time Hakyeon-hyung!”

 

As the girl waved and disappeared behind the trees, the both of them stayed frozen on the spot. Hakyeon, out of pain, tried to chuckle it all away.

 

“She’s a nice girl Wonshik, h-how did the two of you meet?” Hakyeon couldn’t meet Wonshik’s eyes, he tried to focus on the dried leaf beside his shoes, anything would be good except showing the sadness in his eyes.

 

“She’s the daughter of my mom’s friend, my mom said I’m on the age of marrying, and when I meet her, we get along fine, so it happens.” Wonshik put it matter-of-factly, because it is what happened.

 

Hakyeon nods slightly, his head hanged down, “I see.”.

 

Of course Wonshik would do anything to make his parents proud, of course Wonshik is a normal human being, unlike him, for liking him more than just mere friendship. Hakyeon’s lips trembled, he knew this would happen, yet it hurts all the same.

 

Hakyeon sat on the concrete staircase, followed along by Wonshik sitting beside him, looking worried.

 

“What’s wrong Hakyeon? You didn’t look good” Wonshik leaned closer, which didn’t help at all.

 

Hakyeon felt his fingers are cold and numb. He’s mentally shocked, he was able to remain composed but now… he can’t do it.

 

“I just need to suck it up” Hakyeon’s voice trembles, but his smile was never absent. He also didn’t need to voice it out, it happened, and he cursed himself for being this shook.

 

“What are you sucking up to?” Wonshik asked, not knowing the question is driving Hakyeon crazy.

 

“I’m sorry… just leave me alone for a whi—”

 

Wonshik takes hold of Hakyeon’s jaw, yank it slightly to him, and pressed his lips against his. Hakyeon felt his breath was caught to stop, he blinked, processing if the lips pressing against his was Wonshik’s, and if the man kissing his right now is really Wonshik.

 

Yes, it’s him. Hakyeon clung to his back, letting the soft kiss continues. He inhaled, taking Wonshik’s scent in, it’s the same scent he always smelled whenever they’re near, but now even stronger. His lips moved only slightly to feel the lips he could only dream off all these years.

 

For that long moment they’re touching so close, it feels like they’re alive for the first time ever. The temperature is rising despite the wind, and the taste grows even sweeter. Like a lost key to a rusty lock is finally found, the final puzzle piece is finally placed to complete the picture, everything feels right. Feel’s so right that it’s painful, because in reality it’s still wrong.

 

They parted, only slightly, and slowly gains distance between them. Hakyeon looked over to his friend, can he still call Wonshik his friend anymore?

 

“I’ve loved you Hakyeon, I love you.” and the genuine eyes beaming from Wonshik’s eyes didn’t help the hurt he felt.

 

Hakyeon can’t describe his feelings, Wonshik just told him he loved him, he didn’t know if he should be happy or be terrified at this point. He looked at Wonshik, and his mind traveled back when that face is still round and cute, filled with innocence and purity. Now, though his face has aged, he’s a grown adult that lost thar innocence, yet still, that look in his eyes didn’t change.

 

Hakyeon cupped Wonshik’s cheeks, almost cooed at the sight of Wonshik smiling at him, “I love you too Wonshik”, the confession almost squeezed a tear from him, but he held back.

 

Wonshik on the other hand, feel whole again. In this abandoned little paradise, Hakyeon is finally back into his arms. Their temples leaning onto each other, enjoying the contact for as long as they can, letting their hearts conjoined for a little while.

 

The sound of the wind sinks and pull themselves into the background, making them feel free in that brief moment.

 

Wonshik’s body started to rumble, breaking the silence, and laughed, Hakyeon follow along, laughing at the state they’re in. They pull apart, drinking the view of their grown-up selves.

 

“I missed you Wonshik” and Wonshik agreed immediately.

 

They began to talk about life, catching up to all the years they’re apart like long lost lovers. Hakyeon told him about his father, and how much he didn’t actually care. Talked about his job, his family in Seoul, and how life made a good turn on him.

 

Wonshik too, he took his father’s path to be a teacher, lecturing Traditional Music at R University. He went on a world tour for a year with a group of people, and he showed the pictures from his phone. There were pictures of Wonshik with a lot of people, and it made Hakyeon happy how many friends Wonshik has now. Wonshik was always shy and timid, often keep to himself, but now Hakyeon doesn’t need to worry anymore.

 

Among the pictures, there was that Sejong girl in a traditional hanbok.

 

It finally dawned on Hakyeon, she’s his dancer now. No matter how selfish and sure he thought of it in the past, people grow up, things changes, and the thing he hoped for the two of them is impossible.

 

It’s a hard and bitter thing to swallow that fact, but Hakyeon made up his mind, he has to be the bigger person here.

 

Wonshik broke Hakyeon’s train of thoughts by holding his hand again, now clenching it tightly. By then, Hakyeon realized the sky is tinted orange.

 

“How long are you in town? Let’s go around the town! Some of the people have been asking for you!” Wonshik pulled his friend up, but Hakyeon didn’t budge. Wonshik felt tension in the hand he held, and look back to his dear.

 

Hakyeon looked up to those sweet doe eyes, smiling painfully. Out of the made up smile he has, this one is the most painful.

 

He shook his head lightly, “I can’t do this Wonshik, I can’t…” Hakyeon finally broke down saying the truth.

 

The owner of those doe eyes, stare at the man in his hands silently cried in pain. Wonshik felt his heart sunk and crash into pieces, he didn’t know what to do. He’s now a committed man, he said his oath, where he would pledge his life to his wife, thinking it was the right thing to do, and Sejeong was the right woman to do it with.

 

Now Hakyeon is here, and nothing he thought right was the same anymore. He has done something irreversible.

 

“I’m sorry Hakyeon, I’m so—” sorry for betraying you, Wonshik didn’t get to say it.

 

Hakyeon stood up before Wonshik could finish, because he knew what Wonshik was about to say. Though it’s painful that he’s now obliged to someone else, Hakyeon must admit that it was the right thing to do, it was his wake up call.

 

Hakyeon pressed both his hands onto Wonshik’s face, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Hakyeon’s round eyes looking dead onto Wonshik’s teary ones.

 

“Then why is it so painful Hakyeon? Why does it doesn’t feel as right as I’m with you.” Wonshik’s voice is stable and flat, but a tear escaping his eyes showing that he truly felt the opposite. Hakyeon followed along and cried at the sight of his Wonshik.

 

“Maybe sometimes… not all things that are right are the most enjoyable ones.” He rested his head on Wonshik’s, closing his eyes tight, “I love you Wonshik, all this time, I still am…”

 

“Me too… me too Hakyeon I’ve missed you… I hate that whenever you slipped my mind, I can’t muster up the courage to appear in your life after such a long time. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have doubt you.” Wonshik’s broken voice is like a hammer to his chest, the longer this goes, then the more painful it will be.

 

“I have that fear too, Wonshik… Still, despite the fear I can’t change my feelings.” Hakyeon leaned his head to Wonshik’s shoulder, pouring all the tears there as he hides his face of guilt.

 

“I still love you too, so much… I wish… the fall festival would stay forever.” Wonshik leaned on top of Hakyeon’s head, crushing him with a tight hug, hoping to ease the pain at the memory.

 

Hakyeon felt that night of fall flashed in his eyes, the memories of when he walked home hand in hand with Wonshik played so clearly. What a wonderful time it was.

 

Hakyeon moved away slightly, meeting his beloved’s eyes, “I know Wonshik… but you’re not mine, not anymore.”

 

Wonshik felt guilt weighing down on his shoulder. He remembered the promise he made to himself, about how Hakyeon will be his forever, now look at him, wedded with a woman of his parent’s interest.

 

“Stop thinking about it Wonshik”

 

“Thinking about what?”

 

“The past.”, Hakyeon gave him another stiff smile, it was the best one he can pull, “Let it stay in the past, and be held as a memory. Nothing good will come out of this, we would have no future, bring shame to our parents that raise us.”

 

Wonshik felt his breath was held at the mention of his parents. Yes, he loved them so dearly, and he highly looked up to them. Their dreams are also Wonshik’s dreams, and Wonshik takes great pride in it. That, and this type of relationship, will surely hold themselves back from their goals.

 

Hakyeon’s took in a shaky breath, nervous, “This is the last time, Wonshik.”

 

There’s a tinge of pain in his chest, but Wonshik agreed.

 

This forbidden feeling will grow stronger the closer they are to each other. It would feel painful now, but maybe, it’ll ease by time, and they can look back to appreciate these memories without regret and hurt.

 

“If this is the last, then I want one last thing.” Wonshik requested, his tearful eyes have switched to ones that filled with fire. Hakyeon already knew what he wanted.

 

They go behind the church, kissing fiercely and leaned on the Church’s walls. Alone in an abandoned building in the middle of the woods, where the sun had barely left the sky, made them believe that the world only consists of them.

 

They let go their gasp and moans of pleasure all they want, no letting go, no limitations, no holding back. More, they need more, everything is possible, nothing is wrong, the world is theirs, and no one can stop them. They mend to each other’s loss till night finally comes.

 

They ended the day with Wonshik humming Onara, and Hakyeon humming along with him. They walked down the rocky road painfully slow, holding each other’s hand, feeling content, just like 10 years ago.

 

 

The next day, Wonshik sees Hakyeon off, almost feel like nostalgia when Hakyeon left his town for the first time.

 

But now, Wonshik is not alone, he waved those hands with his wife by his side. His dad was there too, along with his fiancée. Hakyeon has a determined smile on his face. His eyes landed on Wonshik’s one last time, and the sight of that happy face is engraved in his memory forever.

 

Wonshik has found his life, even his father has his life together, then Hakyeon will too.

 

 

~~+++~~


	6. Life Happens

“Then what happened Grandpa Hakyeon?” The 17-year-old asked curiously.

 

Hakyeon is now 73 years old, living alone and away from the city of Seoul. His grandson comes here for visits, at his school holidays. Cha Sobin, his sweet and loving grandson has confessed to Hakyeon that he had a boyfriend before, and made Hakyeon told this old unforgettable story.

 

“I moved on, I met your grandma, a very sweet woman, marry her, have your mother and uncle, and live to the fullest.” Hakyeon’s shaky voice chimed proudly. Though it was the most painful heartbreak of his life, he never forgets to live to the fullest in his fabulous life at the theater.

 

Hakyeon made his way up to his career as the most famous contemporary dancer, he starred at a few MVs, and a lot of musicals. His life spent dancing and singing, using them to climb up to the world of variety and shining world on entertainment.

 

Now, he’s old, still fit but no longer able to dance, he’s retired, and left to witness his offspring’s bloom. Some followed his footsteps, some don’t, and Hakyeon never cared as long as they are happy.

 

His grandson however, somewhat followed his path, he’s a trainee at Jellyfish entertainment, soon to debut. Knowing how the industry is, and his sexuality, Sobin started to have doubts, he wouldn’t want to hide. The thought of it made him somewhat claustrophobic.

 

Sobin laid his head to his grandpa, he’s always the clingy type, just like Hakyeon, and looked almost alike too, “I wouldn’t want to be like that, I know I’m going to jump into the entertainment world, but I would like to stay together with the man I love, if I meet one.”

 

Hakyeon sighed, and pat his grandson’s head, “We parted to follow our dreams, but you don’t have to Sobinnie. Time has changed, the world is more forgiving now, South Korea will follow right behind when you’re just a little older, I have faith in this country.”

 

It made Sobin smile, though he doesn’t have the same faith as his grandpa, all he can do is believe him for now.

 

“Do you still love him?” Sobin asked bluntly to a mid-70-year-old man that used to love a man, what is the worth of that love now?

 

Hakyeon thought back to those days. Out of the memories that were lost with his age, the memories of him in that cozy town with Wonshik is something that he can’t forget.

 

“Yes Sobin, I love him even now, I love your grandma too, but nothing beats first love right? Ohohoho, I’m kind of glad your grandma is not alive to hear me say these.” Hakyeon chuckled raggedly, feeling a bit guilty… but hey, there’s nothing wrong with a few laughs.

 

Sobin seems to chuckle along with him too, “Do you know how Kim Wonshik is now?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“I haven’t seen Wonshik in about 40 years”

 

40 years the word echoed in Sobin’s mind, how can someone so in love be so far away for so long? Sobin would’ve gone mad. He had a boyfriend once, and he was livid when his boyfriend didn’t reply him in 3 hours.

 

“Why? Why do you part yourselves for so long, aren’t you in love?” Sobin demanded, not understanding the logic of his grandpa’s thinking

 

“We were too in love I think, we couldn’t have done our deed to our families if we meet, and the world is merciless to us back then, it scared us.” Hakyeon tried to calm his grandson, but Sobin is not having it.

 

“Well, now you already did whatever deed it is! Let’s go meet him!”

 

Hakyeon felt his weak heart pumping harder, and his face feeling hot, meeting Wonshik again after so many years… they are already this old, a little meeting with a childhood friend would be delightful, won’t it?

 

“Sure! Let’s go Sobinnie!”

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

They literally went 2 days after they said they would, Sobin was that enthusiastic.

 

A lot happened in his small and cozy hometown. His father and stepmom weren’t buried here either, since they moved away when they retire, so he didn’t visit this town when they passed away.

 

40 years not seeing this town, it’s not that small anymore. There are more houses, now they have tall buildings, more convenience store, and bigger roads. Hakyeon looked out of the uber car in awe, when Sobin is directing the driver with google maps.

 

Finally, the roads feel familiar to Hakyeon when he saw his old house, Hakyeon pointed at the building that seems to have someone live in it, and completely renovates it till it looked new. They didn’t stop there, because it’s not their destination, and they finally reached Hakyeon’s old high school.

 

The high school is closed now, and is on sale. Hakyeon smiled at the building that held a lot of memories for him. From there on, Hakyeon walked with Sobin, and show his grandson the stories of this city, the memories, the history, and the things he did in this wonderful city.

 

He still remembers the road like the back of his hand, into the rocky steps, a little further from school, where the trees still stand forever protecting that place from the world. Sobin held onto his grandpa’s hands through the rocky road, in the woods. Sobin never saw such beautiful view, unlike the parks in Seoul, this is the real nature.

 

Between the crashing branches, a melody of Hageum seeps through, Hakyeon caught the beautiful melody and feel the familiar wind. Opening a very clear memory from long ago, he felt his body is back in his teens. The familiar scene took his mind back, and the past feels as real as now.

 

Jumping towards the source he knew from, and finally reaching the clearing. The voice of Onara sounding clearer and clearer, it sounded a little bit stiff, Wonshik must’ve grown so old to have steady hands. There’s a smile crept up on Hakyeon’s face when the old Church finally comes to light, it was the same as ever.

 

Someone is sitting there, holding a Hageum that come to halt when Hakyeon approached, a girl with wide eyes, looking in fear at Hakyeon.

 

“Grandpa Hakyeon wait up! You’re leaving me behind!” Sobin bumped into his frozen Grandpa, and move sideways to see who’s in front of him. A girl probably the same age as him, holding some kind of instrument.

 

“Hello! Don’t be scared, we’re just visiting, turns out this spot is where my grandpa used to have secret dates.” Sobin winked at the scared girl to ease up her tense stare, though Hakyeon didn’t appreciate the extra information.

 

“Sobin!” Hakyeon shoved his grandson’s shoulder with greater might than he thought and made Sobin stumble slightly.

 

In the midst of confusion, the girl pointed at the bickering pair, “Grandpa Hakyeon? As in Cha Hakyeon?” Hakyeon saw the glimmer in the girl’s eyes, it’s been so long since Hakyeon’s name been popular, it’s weird to see such a young girl still remembers him.

 

But the girl was not finished, “Cha Hakyeon… Granpa Wonshik’s friend?” Both Sobin and Hakyeon fell into a thoughtful silence.

 

Did she just say, ‘Granpa Wonshik’?

 

She bowed, “My name is Jisoo, I’m Kim Wonshik’s granddaughter” She introduced herself. Hakyeon light up at the sight of her, she’s his granddaughter, Wonshik have a family, he must’ve been so proud.

 

“Pleased to meet you Jisoo, and as I can see, you’re following your grandpa’s footsteps” Hakyeon nodded at the Hageum in her hand, and she clutches it slightly.

 

“I’m just learning, I’m not as good as grandpa.” There’s a light tint on her cheeks, and it reminded Hakyeon of the cute Wonshik.

 

“Not yet! You will soon, Wonshik used to start even worse than you” Hakyeon chuckled as he remembered how Wonshik abused those xylophones when they were kids.

 

Sobin felt his heart warmed, at least now they found his granddaughter, “We’re here to meet Kim Wonshik, is he in town?”

 

 

~~+++~~

 

 

“It’s my life dream to follow grandpa’s footsteps, becoming a traditional musician in this modern world, so that the world won’t forget about this beautiful heritage, I want to continue the true path of this family, but now I’m already 17, and I still can’t play Hageum well.” There’s sadness and regret in Jisoo’s voice.

 

“No one believed in my dreams, my parents didn’t even approve of it, even though they know grandpa was famous for it. My aunts that were following this path said that I’m hopeless, but grandpa always encourages me to follow my dreams. I don’t know what to believe sometimes…” Hakyeon opened his arms, where the young teenage girl leaped to it and hugged him back.

 

“Even I believe in you Jisoo, you’re still young, you have all the time in the world to pursue your dreams, believe me.” Hakyeon smiled, and let the girl go as she nods.

 

Hakyeon turned around, kneeling slowly to the ground to not hurt his knee, and place a flower in front of Wonshik’s grave.

 

‘To the world, he gave his untimely love, and rest he laid as a good man, father, and husband’

 

Yes, that’s truly correct. For the sake of his family and his responsibilities, they parted ways without any words between those 40 years. The pain sometimes comes to tweak the heart once in a while, but they stayed strong, and lived a good life.

 

“Granpa Wonshik thought me how to play instruments since I was a kid, and he told me about you. He told me everything…” The girl began to shed tears, “He told me about the fall festival, about the church, everything, and I’m sorry…” the girl cried. Hakyeon was confused, for whatever reason did Jisoo apologized for?

 

“There is nothing you have to apologize for Jisoo.”

 

Jisoo nods, agreeing with Hakyeon, she’s just sorry that it happened to Hakyeon and Wonshik, the same thing Sobin feels, who’s been crying silently this whole time. They know if their grandfathers were together, they won’t exist today, it was just a very sad history.

 

“We had different circumstances back then, but we lived to the fullest, we have no regrets.” Hakyeon recalled Wonshik’s face when he was at the airport from a visit he thought will be his last. Yes, they have no regrets.

 

“He’s my precious person, now I know he lived achieving his dreams, have a wonderful family, and happy, seeing what a kind and determined his granddaughter is. He lived his life as a happy normal man, that alone is enough to make me feel peace.” Hakyeon pats the crying girl’s head.

 

“Thank you for letting me meet him again.”

 

Hakyeon turned around, with Sobin’s hands wrapped around his to help. Jisoo looked at the elderly walk away. Sobin looked back and meet Jisoo’s eyes, they both nod at each other as one last greeting.

 

Hakyeon went home with a lighter heart, he saw the roads, and places, all relieving back his childhood memories. All the good times he shared with Wonshik, all the love he felt for him, it was not a waste. It was a spark of true love that he gets to taste.

 

They were precious memories of happiness that lasted till Wonshik’s last breath.

 

And it sure will do the same for Hakyeon.

 

 

~~End.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP I guess there’s that!
> 
> Another complete story in the bag, man do I feel better!
> 
> Didn’t get rid of my problems tho…. But DEFFF felt better loll.
> 
> Thanks if you read this far, if you like it (by some reason) do give upvotes,
> 
> or comment to tell me what you thinkkk, critics and suggestion are most welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> I tried this wide spacing for the story when I usually don't do it.
> 
> Lemme know what you think! 


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